March 08, 2006 - 9:14 pm
Meh. That's what I have to say about today.
In general, communication has been crappy. Everytime I attempt a conversation over the interweb, my damned connection goes to shit. Bah.
Similarly, I've waited for phone calls that never came, the most important of which being a "you're hired" call from the Bouma group. Damnit.
Because I'm in a horrible mood, I'm convinced that everyone hates me, specifically my future potential employers, who appeared to be very impressed with me as of yesterday, but by not calling me back today when they said they would they have proven that they are strange and crazy and have no intention of using my skillz.
Seriously, I'm a fucking nutjob. I've actually had to talk myself out of paranoid notions all day. I've taken interactions or lack thereof and turned it into "so and so is angry with me, what did I do"...and then I realize: nothing. Cuz they're NOT mad at me. I have no reason to think that way.
So...what's a girl to do? Basically, I'm having a crazy day, which is part of a crazy month and par for the course in my crazy year. I don't know how many times I've caught myself overreacting or foreseen myself doing so and had to say to someone, "You know what, I'm just a little fragile right now, so why don't you just go ahead and walk a few eggshells for me, eh?"
Seriously, it's a bunch of shit.
This isn't necessarily coming out of nowhere, I mean, I did have a bad night last night and a not-so-great morning today. This is true. Nonetheless, the events that put me here, well, I'm still lucid enough to know that I'm overreacting. Still have that.
Diagnosis: Crazy in the headbone.
Oh yeah, and another thing: For reasons I cannot quite pinpoint, my left hand smelled like ballsweat today. Not only did I not touch anyone's balls, sweaty or otherwise, none of my potentially stinky body parts were carrying that smell, either (I checked. I mean, it was weird...). The only answer I can conceive is that somewhere between my feet, crotch and armits, I got my hand in there somewhere and the combination was, well, ballsweat. Ew.