January 26, 2005 - 4:40 pm
I think I should take a moment to reflect on a common theme in my life lately: futility.
It seems that the phrase "I suck at life" holds even more meaning lately than it's normally comical context would allow. By virtue of being a person with friends and small successes peppering her life, I can conclude that I am, in fact, good at some things. However, lately I'm just not feeling it.
Of course, you can go ahead and file this under "overreaction." The truth of the matter is that I'm just in a *grabs frantically at multiple, fast-moving, non-existant objects in the air around me* stage. In short, it kinda feels like every single area of my life holds some aspect that I can't seem to get figured out, taken care of, under control. There are normally two ways I deal with this: one is to drink, the other is to ignore those feelings and just chip away at my to-do list robotically until I feel better. If it gets really bad I'll pull the Jim Beam off the shelf, but in the meantime I'm gonna just try the latter method.
Things I need to do: catch up on my homework, find a way to sleep better, keep touch with people, run till my veins pump battery acid, enjoy a night out on the town, play video games in my PJs, fix my fucking car, stop being so damned scared of the future.
Now that I look at it like that...shouldn't be so hard.
