June 10, 2004 - 1:23 pm
I would like to take the time to talk about something very near and dear to my heart: euphemisms for various sexual acts/organs. Throughout the years I've heard some fantastic ways to refer to the things that pretend we don't talk about in polite company, and I'd just like to share some of my favorites.*
- Test-firing the meat missle
- Mantenna
- Flickin' the bean
- Bumpin' uglies
- Riding the Man Train
- Sheath
- Tongue-punching the dirt star
And my very very favorite...
*If you have no idea what activity/organ is being described, please ask your mother. It's about time she told you about this stuff anyhow. Unless you're Canadian. In that case it's probably just too late.
Of course, this list is in no way all-inclusive, it's just a collection of my personal favorites. If you think I've underappreciated some key phrases, drop a note and I'll consider adding them.
Other things on my mind:
People named Megan are usually pretty cool
I R not a fan of Victorian literature.
I'm dying of a horrible disease. I think it's lieukemia. Maybe AIDS.
When I do die, Wicker is going to kill Stacey and steal our TV. Be careful, Stace.
The library makes me happy.
I wish I were a photographer.
Wicker is my favorite, even if he does hate me and want to stab me in the spleen.
So I've got about thirty days...who wants to go on a date with me? I painted my toenails, just in case.
Also, I went and did that whole "eating" thing the kids are so hip on, and it made me wanna die. I had a slice of spinach pizza from NYPD (read "GOODNESS"), and by the time I had devoured it my stomach was in a full-fledged riot. To say it hurt is like saying 1945 was a bad time to be living in Japan. It's still kinda pissed, but I'm trying to calm it down with caffeinated fun (I know this seems counterproductive...but this is how my stomach works).
Excuse me, I'm gonna go curl up in a ball and cry until the pain passes.
