January 11, 2004 - 1:29 pm
So it's about time I post about that trip o' mine, cuz I'll feel like an asshole if I keep mentioning it but never really say what happened.
It was fun.
Correction: It was SO MUCH FUN!!!
I took notes so I wouldn't forget about the stuff I really wanted to write about...so here goes. We went about 2500 miles in just over 3 days, spending a lot of time the last day or so on touristy things, like the Grand Canyon and the meteor crater in Arizona, and venturing up to Vegas for some quick gambling and luxorating. We had a van, a lot of CDs and a good supply of coffee/diet coke. Here's a day to day:
Day 1-
Left Michigan at 2:30 or so with the intention of getting as far as possible, with a dinnertime stop in Champaign, IL to see some old Outragers. All worked well, we had dinner with Nick and Amber at this really good barbecue place. We talked about Darren being a robot with an apartment full of dead hookers, stacked by height. Also: Feeder cats (ask me some other time). It was pretty much dark by the time we got out there, which is good. That much corn could drive a man insane.
Drove through St. Louis (BEAUTIFUL!) and all the way to Springfield, MO that night. Missouri seems to be a state where both porn and religion are quite strong, as we kept seeing porn MECCAS, with billboards about how "Porn Destroys" right next to them, and down the road would be a church with a GINORMOUS neon cross out front.
Steady speeding and good music helped us to get quite far that night, driving until about 2am or so (Central time). Even at that late hour, though, we were having a blast. We had both brought some pretty good road music (snoop dogg, tenacious D), but when we got tired, we popped in the early nineties Pearl Jam (for which both Mike and I have a great affinity) and sang along in our Vedder voices (impressions done on request) until our throats hurt. It kept us awake, it did.
Day 2-
Fun thought: If LA is the US's asshole, then Florida is its wang, flacid, of course. What would happen if it became erect? Our answer: New Yorkers swimming to Key West.
We basically drove through the rest of Missouri and Oklahoma (which is no short trip) in the daylight hours. We kept seeing signs warning us "do not drive into smoke." We're still not sure what that means, but our best guess is that Smoke is a nearby town that we just DO NOT want to drive into? *shrug* Stopped at one of those McDonalds that goes over the freeway, the one with the Will Rogers museum and all that, good times. Final verdict, Oklahoma stole our sunlight, and therefore we hate it, though it was one of our first "Yay states" (states with 75 mph speed limits).
I took over at sundown and got us through Texas and into New Mexico. We ate at a Taco Villa which was chosen on its virtue of NOT being a Chicken express. Not so much for the selection in Amarillo, it seems. This particular day was pure driving, and we made it to Albuquerque before we decided that a nap was in order.
Day 3-Albuquerque to Gallup happened so fast we decided that since we wouldn't hit LA in time to get the keys for Mike's apartment, and would therefore have to get a hotels in LA or close, we should just jog north instead and go to Vegas for a night. Vegas baby, Vegas!
Saw the meteor crater (Yup, that's a crater, all right) and such, but realized that we were in a crunch if we wanted to hit the Grand Canyon before sundown. New snowfall in Flagstaff made this particularly difficult, combined with the curviness of the mountain road we took and the fact that I had to pee, I was sufficiently cranky by the time we go there, as was Sir Michael. Word to the wise: See this shit when it's warm out and you can make use of the $20 you pay to get in, not when it's so cold that it just becomes a pain in the ass on your way to Vegas.
Hit Vegas by 10 or so, quite cranky. This is solved by blowing half of our hotel allotment on a suite at the Luxor (read "Roxor"), some gambling, and gorging on room service at 1am. All the stress of the trip falls down the drain in the best shower I have ever taken. Without spending more than 5 minutes outside, I fall in love with my Vegas experience.
Oh yeah, and it's cold.
Day 4-We're 200 miles from LA. Could have been there easily in time to get keys to Mike's place, but a semi runs into a bus on 15 South and we get caught in the Mother of all desert traffic jams. We decide it's actually a sea monster on the road, or Mike's wang. However, things clear up in time for us to NOT take the road going through the Mojave back to 40. Yay us. We are, however, 15 minutes too late and have to stay at Pfeiffer's place. Damn. We meet up with Scott, who treats us to a spectacular fancypants dinner and then margaritas in some cantina on Sunset.
Day 5-Mike and I explore Burbank for a minute or two, then grab a hearty IHOP breakfast before I hit the airport. I shall return! I tell the city before I depart.
And you know what? I will.
