January 15, 2003 - 9:40 am
The other day I visited Haney's old web page. I read through some of his old diary entries, and was absolutely thrown back by how different things were then. I mean, they don't seem like it, but it's true.
Let's consider four current facts about life as I know it right now:
- I have only one job.
- I am orgasmically single
- I have my own place (babepad)
- It takes three parts luck and five parts food bribery to get Mike and Stacey in the same room.
Now, four former facts from July of 2001:
- I had three jobs
- I was dating Jameson
- I was living in a sublet on North Campus
- Mike and Stacey were such close chums I was three steps from jealous.
A lot has changed in just that year and a half. Many of my relationships have morphed into great friendships/depressing estrangements/etc. I have chosen a career and made great leaps towards acheiving the goals I've set since. This morning, I was considering the many things about myself that would probably surprise (or at least amuse) someone who knew me well five years ago, but hadn't seen me since. There are so many, but the three that come to mind straight off are: (1) I have made my peace with diet foods, (2) I have toned down my former style of dress (once similar to that of a 70-yr old man on a golf course), and (3) I wake up one hour before I must leave my house (as opposed to the 15 minutes that got me through all of high school).
I think I'm happier now, but I still have those weeks where I really just want to move to a different town or engage in a 4-hour-long hug with someone really sweet. In fact, I've been kinda feeling like that since Christmas, or at least New Years. The difference is that I now know that this, too, shall pass (I love that line). All I need to do is figure out how to make things more tolerable until it does. Methinks taking a day off work would do wonders. I'm just considering what it would do to my wallet.
Later that day: Since school started, things have been so stressful and my class schedule so intensive that I've had this nagging (and seemingly irrational) fear of "forgetting" to go to class. Not in the freshman sense, where by "forget" you mean "slept in," "fucked around online," or "watched Masters of the Universe on SciFi." I mean, I've had this fear that I'll either a)forget what day it is and therefore that I have class at 1 instead of 2 or some shit like that, or b)lose track of time to the extent that I completely miss a class or two. The one lesson my sophomore year taught me was that attention deficits, in-class naps, and other badness are less likely to fuck with your GPA if you attend every class session, and since I have acquired a downright neurotic need to have good attendance. Fuckin' A, it worked, too. I haven't missed a class since this semester last year, and my GPA has rocked with a frequency ever since. Anyhow, today I did just that...I forgot I had class. This is what's so damned stupid about it: this wasn't over a break or anything, I left my 3-4 and went to the bookstore to pick up some shit, completely forgetting that I have a 4-5:30 directly afterwards. How fucking scatterbrained could I BE!?!
