July 20, 2004 - 8:30 pm
So here we are. Two years and almost 400 entries have come and gone...and I still haven't found a way to tame the horrors of Art Fair.
Though the real evil doesn't start until tomorrow, the vendors began to set up this morning, and many out-of-towners flooded local establishments in hope of viewing us in our natural habitat. I have already made plans to work and work and work so that it is only necessary for me to brave downtown parking one day of this debacle.
Nonetheless, my trip to the SSWB took me past a number of shit-on-a-stick pieces I am proud to call Bad Art. My favorite (and one more reason I wish I had a camera phone) was a large sculpture I was being carried in on a truck...it roughly looked like an Orc with a harness with a grumpy-lookin' gorilla at his heels. Fuckin' gorillas. Will they ever learn?
The couple at the table nearest me is on what seems to be a first date. I'm learning so much about them just by sitting within five feet of their seats. It's a pity that they're horribly mediocre folk.
And that is what I leave you with, dear Random Reader: If you find yourself on or over the edge of mediocrity, please talk as little as possible. You'll blow away audiences with your first date skillz.
