January 07, 2003 - 12:33 pm
Let me tell you a little story about a door, and a key. You see, the set of doors that lets people enter the building where I work is locked after 5, while the inner doors are locked at all times. No matter what, there is not a time I can come inside without opening the doors with my magical key card. The problem with this is that you must pass the card over a box next to the door to open it. The box is about midsection height. Over the last year, I (and a few coworkers) have endeavored to find a way to open the doors without having to reach into my back pocket for the card. When I wear my superpants with the ankle pocket, I just keep it in there, and a quick ninjakick will earn me access. However, that is normally not an option. At times like these, I often jump up in the air with my butt facing the box, hoping the card will register from inside my pocket. It sometimes works. However, it's an odd sight for any passerby.
Anyhow, today I came in, and there was a chair sitting right underneath the box. Methinks the webcam people saw my issues and put it there to help me out somehow.
So...about last night. That was odd.
Here's Megan's tale: You see, I'm the type of girl that is generally very giving, very nice to guys I date. However, most of them end up leaving on a bad note, usually when they bullshit me about something or blow me off. The end result is that they run off, and I avoid them too, having learned that you can't corner someone and make them atone for their sins. In the meantime, that leaves me with a few people I believe owe me apologies, and one or two that probably couldn't make it up to me if they tried.
Last night I got the call I mentioned yesterday. Sure, I said, I'll meet you for coffee. Say, 8pm? Alright, see you there.
So I grab my coffee and head upstairs to find him waiting patiently at the first table. I was trying to decide how much of a jerk I had to be to avoid revealing the true pushover I am, without being unjustifiably bitchy. I must have hit the right combo, because I got a full fledged apology and explanation that far exceeded my expectations.
Here's what's REALLY weird. I asked him why he bothered to do this. I mean, I've been a complete chicken about calling people out of the blue, even good friends I haven't seen in a while that I know would be pleased to hear from me. This just seemed too ballsy to not have an ulterior motive. He missed me, he says.
Wow.
Exes don't miss me. It just doesn't happen. I mean, it took Alan a year or two to ever offer anything RESEMBLING an apology in my general direction, and he was my first big thing, ya know? This guy, on the other hand...he says he's thought of me often since he left for Chic-a-gogo (almost a year and a half ago). This is odd. We dated for a month or so. He says that, looking back, he couldn't really think of anything wrong with ME, and felt that was reason enough to try to patch things up. More about how our relationship was a victim of poor timing and all that.
This...this is a good thing. Even if I never talk to him again, this is closure. Yay boys who are responsible. However, we hung out for the rest of the night, and one thing I noticed was his signature way of making me feel pretty and wanted. This is why I liked him in the first place. This very flattering spin he puts on everything, like you make him so nervous that he has to make excuses to touch you. I knew things were over when he stopped doing that, and even acted surprised when I did it to him. Last night, he was doing it all over again. Since I never figured out if it was an act, or a true feature, I'm not sure what his true intentions are. Sean and I discussed it, he swears it's sincere. We'll see. Considering the conversation and the vibes I was getting, I'm still not very sure just how much of our former friendliness he wants to revive. All I know is...not now. It seems that he's still a great person, but not only is my trust not complete yet, but I need as little drama in my life for the month of January as possible. My ideal situation is a revival of a good friendship, followed by his departure and a semester or two of good correspondence. If things are just as pleasant then, I'll be much more at ease with all of this.
