January 08, 2003 - 5:49 pm
So, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this semester is going to be harder than I would like to admit.
My Imperial China professor is the most amazing human being I've ever encountered.
It seems I'm very much appreciated lately. This is a nice trend. Karen has moved back in with her parents, and has incredibly too much time on her hands, as a result, I believe she'd spend every waking moment with me if doing so wouldn't make her feel like a leech. Nonetheless, I see her damned near every day now. Hey, I'm not complaining. Also, Jim sent me a big fat load of exclamation points and I love yous yesterday, reminding me (as if I were the one who forgot) that we should hang out more. I'm not sure if he expected me to suggest a time or something, or if he was just all goofy due to a full night of MechAssault Live, but he let it go after a few minutes. Also on my list of things that make me feel appreciated: my recent situation with a mysterious figure from my past(dramatic, eh?).
Speaking of that, I'm still on the fence about how to deal with it. I mean, he's clearly still the boy I enjoyed dating back in 2001, though seemingly a bit more conscientious, but not only do I intend to spend the month of January SINGLE, I really don't want to screw up this newfound friend thing. I worry that holding him at arm's length might be a "safe" thing to do, as I tend to be equally affectionate to people I would or wouldn't date, and this sometimes makes willing members of the latter group uncomfortable. I fear that if I throw out my normal arsenal of hugs, compliments, and other pleasantries, he may think I'm trying to sink my claws into him again and run quite fast in the other direction. On the other hand, if I withold such niceties, I may give off the impression that I haven't really forgiven him, or that I'm so against ever being like we used to be that I wouldn't even accept a hug. THIS is why I usually do not maintain contact with exes. It's so much easier with people whom you've never really snuggled.
He expressed a want to hang with me more before he left, and I agreed this would be a good thing. It's made me think back a year and a half, and to how I never really got a good chance to get to know him in the first place. We met and just instantly kinda started making out. No matter what his intentions are, he's leaving in a few days, so given he maintains contact with me, I will have a second chance to just become (re)acquainted with this new/old friend of mine.
I got a call today while in Angell Hall. My phone ROXORS!!!
