March 20, 2003 - 2:40 pm
It's a fanfuckingtastic day outside.
In Iraq, bombs are falling.
Where would I rather be? You decide.
Anyhow, let's not talk about my ire towards our commander-in-chief, eh?
Anyhow, spring days have an effect on me not dissimilar to those caused by hard liquor and good friends. I have this urge to call up people to tell them I love them. Although it's ALWAYS true, and I find nothing BAD about telling those special to you just how much I care, people just aren't always ready for it. I get a number of responses.
For example, some people, who are not enjoying their day half as much, are bitter. They respond to my "isn't it a beautiful day?" question with things like "I wouldn't know, I've been at work for the last 2309527 hours and god damn you for NOT doing the same." That's never fun, kinda steals my thunder a bit. There are also those who just "oh...okay" me when I express just how much I cherish them. I admit, for some people, this level of affection from me is coming straight outta left field. I make a mental note: Don't be so damned guarded. The third type worries that I'm only making such announcements because of some threat to my life, such as thoughts of suicide or terminal disease.
What it comes down to is something someone said once, about not taking life for granted, and how every good moment you have is taken from a finite number left in your short time here. Every time I experience a beautiful day, I want to enjoy it to the fullest, to savor it, and to ensure that everone and everything else that I hold so precious is completely aware of how wonderful they are, just in case my good day is cut short by a drunk driver, cancer, suicide bombings, etc. Shit happens, and sometimes I think the greatest possibly tragedy in my life would be leaving without letting everyone know how much I care.
Does that sound sappy? I'm being sincere here. Perhaps I'm just overemotional, but it's downright nuts how incredibly full my heart is at all times with affection for the life around me. Sometimes I forget this, but it's always there.
So...*takes off serious pants, replaces with silly ones* I'M DANCIN' LIKE A MONKEY!
