September 23, 2003 - 10:47 am
Last night I had the pleasure of riding the bus home on the first and most beautiful fall day of this year. As usually happens when I experience a familiar atmosphere (usually a mixture of scents, air temperature, and colors), I was thrown back into the memories of everything constituted "everyday life" one year ago.
For the first time in weeks, I completely forgot about everything life was demanding of my RIGHT NOW and instead focused on everything my hard work allowed me to enjoy last year: candy-making with Stacey and Tabi, decorating the house for the holidays, the need for a jacket but not a winter coat, beautiful colors in the trees, and increased time spent with family. I realized that all of these things, no matter how much I felt I was burning out in my "everyday life" now, there simultaneously exists a support structure of all of these beautiful things and people within my grasp, around the next corner, waiting for my signal. All of the stress that has been eating at me in the last three weeks just melted down my spine and drained out at my shoes. It put an ear-to-ear smile on my face and made me want to hug each and every one of my ancestors for procreating in such a fashion as to allow my little spark of being to manifest in this body at this time, to enjoy life as it is right now.
Sometimes I wish that I could take those feelings and wrap them up in a paper towel, and keep them in my pocket. Then, I could pull out my little ball of happiness and peek inside whenever I get bogged down in the reality of work and school and responsibility. Some times, little things keep me sane so much more than the big things drive me crazy.
