July 13, 2003 - 10:39 pm
Wow I have a lot in my head right now. Perhaps I should use Bullitt points.
- Today my "check engine" light came on. Again. I turned off my car and started it back up, hoping it was a glitch. No luck. My car's acting fine...guess it just misses the loving hands of the mechanic and the feel of my hot tears on the steering column as I cry wee wee wee all the way home from paying out the nose to keep that damned beast running.
- Every time I eat it hurts.
- Last night Kim came over and we got drunk on sugary drinks and ate pizza with spinach and giggled a LOT and I did many pushups, just to prove that I could. And believe you me, I could.
- I feel very cut off from people lately. It seems that no one can make me feel as loved as every stranger I see on the street seems to be. For reasons completely detached from logic, I am more lonely than I could possibly express and I don't believe that anyone is capable of making me feel better.
- This afternoon I went out with my family to celebrate my aunt's birthday. They give me a warm feeling that I can't seem to take back with me, which makes me want to curl up in my sister's loving little lap and never leave her house, and also makes me very sad, since I don't have the time to even visit her house, much less stay there forever.
- I was driving home from Mike's house and I noticed the moon right ahead of me in the sky, big as Queen Latifah's left nipple, and full as my tummy after a trip to Panchero's. Unfortunately, as I drove on, it moved to my right and eventually disappeared behind some trees, but for a minute, it was so fucking beautiful.
Where'd you go, Moon?
