July 15, 2003 - 12:01 pm
Yesterday was a strange smell day. Actually, not just yesterday, let�s say the last 24 hours, since it started halfway through the day and continued to this morning.
It seemed like the setup for a bad movie, where the main character does something or another (makes a wish, pisses off a shaman, etc.) to cause a strange situation where his/her sense of smell is overactive and hilarity ensues.
It began when I went downstairs to talk to one of our network guys about something. I had to lean over him a few times to type my password, and I noticed a strange smell. I say strange because usually when people smell bad, it�s one of two odors: BO, or dirt (usually children smell like this, but you can avoid it by staying away from any child with a three day old kool-aid mustache). This was neither of these smells. Nonetheless, it offended my nose and I got out of there quickly.
Later that day, I was sent on a mission to pick up beer and citrus-flavored malt beverages for a night of relaxation and movies at my place. I stopped by the party store on Packard that boasts liquor and cheese, thinking �hey, if they�ve got fancy French wine, they prolly carry Mic ultra light, right?� The second I walked in, it took everything I had in me not to RUN the hell out. There was this horrible smell throughout the whole place. The only way I could describe it is as �adult feces.� To say it smelled like shit might bring to mind just any bad smell, and I want to be clear on this�it didn�t smell like baby shit, or dog shit�it smelled like an �Oops, I crapped my pants� commercial in there. To make matters worse, the back part of the store is where they kept the fancy cheeses, and by fancy I mean the cheeses that smell like the inside of a fridge that had been closed for a year and a half.
Oh yeah, and they had the beer I was looking for, at a snooty French price, no less.
So I hopped to the Georgetown Kroger (that in itself is always an experience, but I digress). I don�t think I really need to explain it as anything more than �dirty grocery store smell.� I mean, that�s enough, right? We�ve all experienced it?
So yeah, everywhere I turned yesterday there was an offending odor that made me want to be, well, somewhere else.
And to top it all off, this morning, on my walk to work, Art Fair was being set up. (micro-rant: It�s not art, and it�s not fair!) I actually followed a route based on smell. Every time I came to a corner and noticed an odd smell, I went another way. I even stopped in front of Cottage Inn for a few minutes to enjoy the smell of bread baking.
It was like being in an episode of �Clarissa Explains It All.� Remember how she�d always explain her battle plan by making up a little PC game and showing the audience how she�d solve her problem by pasting her brother�s face on an alligator or something that she�d jump over with a fucking pogo stick? Yeah, well, Ann Arbor was the level, and little scent orbs were all over. It was my mission to avoid the �bad orbs� and enjoy the �good orbs� to make it to work successfully. My theory is that the final boss will be a homeless man who follows me to the parking structure after work, refusing to go away until I give him money.
Ha ha�Clarissa Explains it all. *giggles*
