September 20, 2002 - 11:30 am
Last night was a shitty night, but today has already started to make up for it.
My trip to Homeworkville was not a good one. The coffee was unusually wicked on my tender tummy, and people were being so damned loud that I was distracted as a mofack. End result: It's 12:30am and I don't have HALF of what I wanted done. I try switching subjects, but by this time I'm already intellectually worthless due to a headache and fatigue. So I head out, promising to spend tonight making up for it.
I get out to my car, and ATTEMPT to drive off. I say attempt because I very quickly realized this was not possible, as my left front tire was as flat as my chest in 6th grade. I made the initial checks for a butterfly knife, and found my tire was not, in fact, in ribbons. Still, I must have ran over something, because this was no slow leak. Anyhow, I got Nate to help me jack up my car (I had to lift the damned thing to get the jack under it) and, on donut, I was on my way home.
On top of my late bedtime, I had to get up early to go get my tire replaced, as I can't drive to Howell tomorrow on my donut, and my last chance to fix it would be before work today. So I pimped GOD out of the shower this morning, remembering that the last time I got my tires replaced, it took over an hour.
Of course, that was not at 8am. There was a whole 30 minutes lapse between when I pulled in with my donut and when I pulled out with a new tire. Also, since I had bought the flat from the same place, I didn't have to pay for new one (one of the few times a warranty has done anything but suck my wallet drier than it already was).
So, I have a bit of spare time, so I go home and do a little bit of homework, and head to work in a pretty decent mood. I ran into Scott, Brad, and (of course) Long (he follows me to work, methinks) in the parking structure, which never hurts in making a day even better. Fast forward to the end of my first class...got that 305 quiz back, and I didn't do that bad. Went to go to my Classical Civ class, and lo and behold, the MLB was COMPLETELY closed. Students were high-fiving in the streets, for a water main had broken and cancelled every class in there (including mine). Considering that my lecture was already cancelled due to lack of professor, I am officially done with class for the day, and can take the extra time to head to Expresso Royale to do homework.
So celebrate my joy by pouring yourself a cup of good coffee, or just throwing your fist in the air for me. In the meantime, I'm going to go secure myself a free Friday night.
For Cameron: So on the way home, the strangest thing happened to me. I was driving down Packard (or "pack-hard", as the French say), when some guy in an Aston Martin pulls up next to me (a dangerous move, since he had to drive into oncoming traffic to do so), and says "The game is afoot, ROGUE!"...he then throws a small sphere into my open window, which I soon recognize, by it's shape and hissing, lit fuse, as a BOMB! Not being the superslick type, I fumbled with the bomb just log enough to get a hold on it and throw it out my window into the yard of a nearby frat house. The results were not pretty. Suddenly, I realized that a HORDE of ninjas on crazy asian crotchrockets were on my tail. I hopped a curb and went down a sidestreet, but they were hot on my tail. I hit my oil slick button, and sent two of them off their bikes, but they merely jumped through the air onto my trunk. DAMNIT! Fucking ninjas. Anyhow, it's hard as hell to loose someone in the suburbs off of Packard, since you can't go more than 20 mph there, but I tried my hardest. I hopped some kids's bike ramp (possible, I DO drive a Neon) to cut onto the next street, but these ninjas were still in hot pursuit. It was time for action. I pulled into a cul-de-sac and got out of my car, then I showed those men of will what will really was. I completely uppercut this guy without even thinking of it, just because I didn' t like his shoes. Then, I kicked my own mom in the face so hard she screamed. Now THAT's REAL ULTIMATE POWER! Still, there were more and more ninjas everywhere I looked. They were coming out of trees, sewers, shit, one came right out of the pantleg of some passing kid. I was cornered. They were closing in and I was just short of wetting myself when suddenly, everthing got quiet. The crowd around me parted, and up walked my math GSI (see: Devil). My time was surely up.
Megan: *GULP*
GSI: Hi, I'm Khachik, president of Comcast, and I was just hoping for a minute of your time to inform you that we're now not only your cable provider, but we'vebought your apartment complex, your bank, and ultimately: YOU. Here's an unnecessary bill for my own pointless amusement, and have a nice day.
Megan: I'll see you in Hell, Khachik!
GSI: (with flames in his eyes and a smile on his face) Oh, and your basic cable is going up to $50 a month. Enjoy!
The ninjas dispersed and I was left alone, hopeless, half-dead and poor. *sigh* C'est La Vie, no?
